[Framers] [EXTERNAL] Grammar question

Thu Jul 16 12:57:05 PDT 2020

My two cents...
I agree with a blend of Cheryl's and FR's suggestions.

If the user is to remove the covers from the nodes but not remove the nodes, you might go with the following.

Remove the covers from the supervisor and each node.

If your sentence will be translated, note ing words do not translate well and should (for the most part) be avoided. As with almost everything, there are exceptions.

Ramona

-----Original Message-----
From: Framers <framers-bounces+ramona.blackmon=fluke.com at lists.frameusers.com> On Behalf Of Fred Ridder
Sent: Thursday, July 16, 2020 12:03 PM
To: An email list for people using Adobe FrameMaker software. <framers at lists.frameusers.com>
Subject: Re: [Framers] [EXTERNAL] Grammar question

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The minimalist side of me agrees with Cheryl's suggestions.
But the side of me that has answered more customer queries than I care to think about is concerned that the minimal version perhaps goes too far.
One thing that bothers me a bit is the the way the noun that immediately follows "covers" is singular, so that a naive customer might wonder where to fond the other cover(s) on the supervisor.
I also tend to put sequential information at the beginning of instructions rather than the end.

My non-minimalist version would be something like:
Before proceeding, remove the covers from all units, including the supervisor and each node.

-FR

________________________________
From: Framers <framers-bounces+docudoc=hotmail.com at lists.frameusers.com> on behalf of Cheryl Magadieu <cmagadieu at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 16, 2020 1:13 PM
To: An email list for people using Adobe FrameMaker software. <framers at lists.frameusers.com>
Subject: Re: [Framers] [EXTERNAL] Grammar question

"All" is superfluous; I would remove it.
I would also remove "before proceeding further"; it is assumed that the user will perform this step before proceeding to the next one.

Revised sentence: Remove the covers from the supervisor and nodes.

As to whether the revision is "better," minimalists would say that content is easier to read and understand when you streamline a sentence.

Cheryl

On Thu, Jul 16, 2020 at 12:56 PM Tom Beiswenger < tom.beiswenger at emhartglass.com> wrote:

> I prefer "A". "Further," though, is redundant. If you are proceeding,
> it can be presumed that you are going further.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Framers <framers-bounces+tom.beiswenger=
> emhartglass.com at lists.frameusers.com> On Behalf Of Doug
> Sent: Thursday, July 16, 2020 12:52 PM
> To: An email list for people using Adobe FrameMaker software. <
> framers at lists.frameusers.com>
> Subject: [EXTERNAL] [Framers] Grammar question
>
> Which of the two sentences is better?  Is there a "better", or is it
> just a matter of personal preference?
>
> A. Remove all the covers from the supervisor and nodes before
> proceeding further.
>
> B. Remove the covers from the supervisor and all nodes before
> proceeding further.
>
> Thanks!
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