User's manual vs. User manual

[Syed Zaeem Hosain (Syed.Hosain@aeris.net)]

This is from an old e-mail I sent to the Framers list not quite 5 years ago.

I got this from my sister and ... I am sorry ... I _cannot_ resist sending this completely off-topic response. Please forgive me in advance!

Z

Subject: English will become official European Language.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as Replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords containing 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

-----Original Message-----
From: framers-bounces at lists.frameusers.com [mailto:framers-bounces at lists.frameusers.com] On Behalf Of Harding, Dan
Sent: Monday, March 16, 2015 9:22 AM
To: framers at lists.frameusers.com
Subject: RE: User's manual vs. User manual

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

-----Original Message-----
From: framers-bounces at lists.frameusers.com [mailto:framers-bounces at lists.frameusers.com] On Behalf Of Syed Zaeem Hosain (Syed.Hosain at aeris.net)
Sent: Monday, March 16, 2015 10:55 AM
To: Davis, David; framers at lists.frameusers.com
Subject: RE: User's manual vs. User manual

David Davis said:
> In German they get around this kind of thing by making compound nouns, so you'd have the equivalent of "Usermanual"  (Benutzerhandbuch...?), but English prefers to leave a space.

Indeed! :) 

Reminds me of the time I was helping a fraternity brother (fluent German speaker) translate a highly technical document from German to English for his summer job and we encountered this (or some similar) word: "SchwebendeElektroMagnetischenFeld" .... and that was one of the simpler compound words there!

The translation we provided in English was "Levitating Electro-Magnetic Field". The word "Schwebende" means something else I think, but the context was MagLev trains, so "Levitating" seemed better to me! :)

I have never forgotten this story even though it has been 40 years now. I ended up sudying German for two semesters the year after that summer - needed it as a foreign language requirement. 

Z